My Father

My Father

My father,
A gentle, kind, and loving man.

But there was a time
When his hands were not so gentle
His words not so kind
His love not so present

My father
A man who taught himself all that he knows,
Even love.

He had no man to teach him how to fish
Yet he never came home without one

He is a good man
A loving man
A man willing not only to learn
But more importantly, to unlearn.

I got a different father than my younger siblings
I had the 19-year-old boy
Navigating the world with a child
And no sense of direction

I remember being three
Sleeping on a fold out sofa
In a flat he shared with friends

Now, I walk into his house
And see two children with beds
Toys, books, a mother, a father
And a loving home.

I never needed more from you, Dad.
You gave me all you had
And that was everything.

I watched you grow
From a boy into a man.
I watched your fists unclench
I watched your voice grow softer
I watched you appear in places
You once never were for me

You show up now
At performances,
School awards,
And sports.

Dad, I hold no resentment
I never felt the need to forgive you
But I realised after our deep chat
You yearn for forgiveness
So Dad
I said it to you then, and I say it to you now. I forgive you.

You are everything I could want you to be
And that is simply, my Dad.

I love you.

My Father.

Yours truly,
paris jane